time.

This picture makes me smile. Not only because I think he is the cutest 20 month old in the world, but because it makes me think about the future.

I use to be a person that never wanted to get married and never wanted children of my own. I was too selfish to give up that much of my life. My feelings have changed. Now that I am married, I couldn’t picture myself happy without being with him. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

My feelings have changed about having children as well. I want to have children with my best friend. I want us to raise a family together. When that day comes I believe he will be a wonderful dad. He is kind, compassionate, patient, caring and selfless. He is sensitive but consistent. So when will that day come? I am not sure. We have talked a lot about it lately and have been praying really hard for God to give a peace when that time comes. So many factors come in to play. Financially we are ready. Emotionally we are ready. Environmentally we are ready (we have room for a baby in our new house). But time is the factor we get held up on. We are both going to school. He just changed to a complete online degree, so that helps, but you still have to factor in time for him to do it. I am his biggest encourager and supporter when it comes to him finishing his degree. I am halfway done with my masters, but do I really want the stress of school on me during a pregnancy? Will that be hard? Does pregnancy require you to have more down time then what we have? Do I want to continue on to get my doctorate? Can I get through that with a child? So many things go through our minds. There will always be a ‘better time.’ A time where we have more time, more money, more everything. But is there really a perfect time to have a child? So many people tell me if you wait until the right time to have a kid, then you will never have one. Is that true? I am 24. He is 21. Is that too young to have children? Medically I have always heard it would be better to have all the kids we want to have before I turn 30(We want more than 1). Is that really true though? The desire is there. The passion is there. The willing to give up what we want for what a baby needs is there. But how do you know when it is right? A baby deserves us to put the thought into when the best time would be for them to join our family. So we are thinking. We are praying. We are being patient. We are being hopeful. We are just waiting. What are we waiting on? Time. Will it come?

Any words of wisdom would be wonderful. Any criticism would be hurtful. So please choose the first one.